Shut [me] Up

Please teach me how to be shutted up and I'll be, seriously, because I really want to. But while I want to, I still want to shut up without the feeling that I should have spoken. So suggestions like "cut your tongue" aren't valid. Oh, and I still want to be able to feel other stuff, so "shoot yourself in the head and videotape it" isn't a valid option either.

I hear the silence,
I close my eyes,
I want to run like a river flows

I feel the distance,
I stare at the space,
I want to fly to where the wind can blow

Nevermore sorrow, no more pain, no more tears,
No more sorrow

Ashram - Nevermore Sorrow